The Smarter And More Independent You Are, The Harder It Is To Find Love

Love is much easier and way much simpler when you are young.

It seems like things go out of hand as we get older.  Love gets complicated. More complex. More delicate. More tangled.

Falling in love becomes more difficult. Releasing of the past love is even more difficult.

We cannot help but ask why is this? Isn’t love supposed to get easier with time? This makes more sense, doesn’t it?  The truth seems bizarre backwards, even.

More experience and more wisdom are supposed to make it easier for us to find true love. To find happiness.  And, as unbelievable as it seems, falling in love is a decision.  It isn’t magical whatsoever. It is us who make it magical.

As we get older, this magic fades. The magic of life fades as well.  How much of it fades depends on the person.  And given that true magic doesn’t exist, the kind of magic we know happens when we come to terms with the fact that the answer to life is not knowing the answer.

And this is one of the reasons why love loses its magic with time.  The wiser and more intelligent we become, the less there is to ponder. The more you understand love, the more difficult it is for you to find it.

T o fall in love, you must feel that you need it.  Because if you think that you are not worthy of it, you will reject it.  Wanting or needing love means that you need a person to share life`s adventures and challenges.

So, the more intelligent and independent you are, the more difficult it is for you to find love.

Just think about it.  Many people break up because they want independence.  They don’t want to spend every single minute with their partner.  They need time for themselves, otherwise they feel suffocated.

The least independent person will try to cling on to the more independent as much as possible, while the independent person will desperately try to get some space.  So, the one will end up hurt and the other one suffocated.

The trick is finding someone who is just as independent.

However, turns out “independence compatibility” is not enough. Intelligence makes things even more difficult.

So, what actually happens when an intelligent person experiences love? They do what they know the best. The question it.  They look for ways to understand it. To test it. To explore it.

For instance, get stuck on a certain problem and it will make you go crazy.  Getting stuck on figuring out love does the same thing. It drives you nuts.

Love has taken lives. It has initiated wars. It has maimed, tortured, and destroyed. So, the more intelligent you are, the more puzzled you will be by the way love works.

The bottom line is that love is a decision! It isn’t magical on its own. We make it magical.  And the more we complicate things, the more difficult it becomes to find love.

Sources:

https://thoughtcatalog.com/paul-hudson/2017/12/the-smarter-and-more-independent-you-are-the-harder-it-is-to-find-love/

https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/smarter-independent-hard-love/1262556