Once we recognize the fundament element of happiness and live by it, we will be satisfied and happy. But, what is the fundamental element to achieving happiness? While finding the key to happiness is an elusive and quite difficult task, it is possible!
Interestingly enough, there is an ancient secret to happiness which people have known it for centuries. It is essential for mental health and is known as The Fine Art of Not Being Offended.
In order to master this art, you need to understand that every reaction or action of another person is the result of their life experience. Simply put, the majority of people say and do what they do from their conclusions, defenses, and fears. Even when aimed directly, most of it has nothing to do with us, but rather with all the other times that this person has gone through a similar situation.
This is psychodynamic and we live in a society where psychodynamics make the world go around. Anyone who wishes to live a good life needs to look at psychology as prayer. As a matter of fact, psychology means the study of the soul.
With this being said, nothing is personal, even with our family members and friends. We are all in the projections of each other`s experiences and are typically the pieces of the puzzle of life to which our close ones have their own reactions. The aim is not to take away intimacy from our relationships, but to understand that we get offended, we are basically in a misunderstanding. The foundation of this idea allows less suffering and more intimacy. When we understand that we are the one who happens to be standing in the right place at the right time for someone to do what they are doing, we will stop taking life personally.
This allows us to be more detached from the reactions of those around us. How often to you react to a statement of other person being offended rather than seeing their suffering? As a matter of fact, every time we get offended, it is an opportunity to show kindness toward the one suffering. In fact, we don’t have to say anything at all and be our loved one`s therapist. It is better to understand the situation and don’t say a thing.
Note that this shouldn’t be confused with allowing ourselves to be neglected or hurt, since true compassion doesn’t allow harm to ourselves whatsoever. However, once we understand that nothing is personal, something magical happens. In fact, when we know that nothing is personal, we don’t end up feeling bad and abused.
The greatest challenge of our world is to live a life full of contentment, no matter what others do, say, believe, or think. The Fine Art of Not Being Offended is one of the many skills for helping you live a happy life full of contentment.