Love Them As They Are, Not As You Wish They Were

Have you ever thought about what would happened if all relationships in life could be improved with one simple understanding?

Well, it isn’t difficult to guess.  There would be less estranged friends, less divorces, and less fights in general.

It turns out that the key to having mutual, productive, and successful relationships is easier than we think.

It doesn’t involve extensive and costly counseling or therapy.  Furthermore, it doesn’t even require you to talk to that person.  All it takes is one simple saying that you can learn to take part in every interaction in your life.

Love them where they are. Love them as they truly are, not as you want them to be.

As human beings we are affected by our own viewpoints and perspectives of the world.  No one can see like you do, love like you do, and feel like you do.

1. Love you where you are

If you are seeking happy relationships with others, begin with yourself.  Build a relationship with yourself.  Love yourself on your bad days, take yourself out to a movie or a fancy dinner,  buy yourself flowers…

Try to understand why you feel the way you do. Think. Write.  Journal.

Don’t push your feelings aside. Face them instead. Ask yourself questions. Try to get to know yourself better.  Show yourself that you matter.

The truth is that you might have to spend a certain period of time alone.  You might have to be single for some time.  But, this will be the best and most worthwhile time spent in your life.

2. Don’t react just reflect

Before we were able to figure out what a relationship actually is, we were taught by our parents to respond to it.

In my childhood, I learned how to judge other people. How to blame other people. How to create contempt.  How to call the other person names.

But, there is no judgement.  There is acceptance only.

When you find yourself feeling upset or triggered by someone, ask why. Ask yourself why. Ask yourself what wound in you is being forced against.

Don’t react right away.  Think. Breathe. Accept.

Honor the other person.  Accept their own perspective of the world.

3. Don’t put conditions on the unconditional

Loving a person only when they treat us well and buy us gifts is wrong. Loving a person only when they tell us is wrong.  Loving a person only when they are physically present is wrong.

We are all taught that unconditional love is the ultimate form of love. But, it seems like we have lost the understanding in our relationship along the way.

Romantic relationships got pushed away, leaving more and more people lost, unhappy, and stuck in relationship that don’t work.

So, we challenge you to see the simplicity in love and love yourself first before you love them where they are.

Sources:

https://thoughtcatalog.com/jiselle-henderkott/2018/01/love-them-as-they-are-not-as-you-wish-they-were/

http://annecohenwrites.com/love-accept-people/