I’m Sorry I’m In Need Of Constant Reassurance

It has been quite a long time since we started communicating. I really miss the days when you yearned for me and my voice.  You kept asking me how I was, where I was, if I ate enough, if I got enough sleep… You simply wanted to be a part of my busy day.

As might be expected, initially, I was determined and uncompromised at proving to my friends and family that you would stop. But, you didn’t stop! You kept on calling me, teasing me, and knocking on the closed door of my heart. Eventually, you managed to unlock that door.

Then, you started to shower me with attention, which was so unfamiliar to me that I pushed you away. I am not sure whether or not you noticed, as you didn’t give up.  You were patient and kept knocking.

I was the one who gave up eventually and started falling for you. I was head over heels for you.  My stomach twisting whenever I hear your voice and see your name on my phone.  My knees trembling whenever I see you.

However, I am in a constant need of reassurance.  I yearn to hear that I am the one who caught your attention. I want you to remind me that you miss me when I am not anywhere close to you.  I want to hear your voice all the time. I want to be sure that I am the only thing you think about every morning and every night at bedtime.

I want you to keep telling me that you long for my fingers, y touch, my hug, my teasing… I need reassurance not because I forget that you are here, but because I fear that you might walk away and leave me hanging anytime.  This is who I am- an overthinker.  I don’t trust the way I think though. I am afraid that you might decide you no longer need me; as I don’t hold you tight dear.  I don’t tell nor show you that you are important to me as I am supposed to.

I am in a constant need of reassurance as I am always afraid of tomorrow and what it will bring.  But, if you ever choose to walk away and leave me, I will not get upset or mad at you. If leaving me will make you happier, feel free to do it.  But, I do need to hear that I am the one really worth waiting for.  If you ever leave, I will be broken, devastated, sad, and extremely hurt.  I am not cut out for love. Being alone is probably what I do the best.  But, if you choose to stay, I beg you to be patient. Please don’t get tired of reassuring me and showing me that I really am the one!  I know that the constant need for reassurance can push you away, but I cannot help it. Don’t give up on me as I really do want you to stay!